Many people must have experienced a confusing and irritating situation in life where their exes tried to get back into their lives. But this particular situation has been observed even more ever since the lockdown was imposed due to the pandemic. Why are so many exes popping up suddenly? Is it just out of boredom or is there something about this time that makes people reflect on the glorious past and heal rifts? Let’s get a better understanding of this.
There are a lot of emotions at play during the lockdown period. Anxiety, loneliness are the two main emotions that can make people want to reach out. The pandemic has created a lot of uncertainly, unpredictability and questions around morality. It has made people feel anxious and vulnerable too. So when people feel vulnerable to situations, they have extra time to think and their thoughts drift away to the past. Boredom could also be a simple reason behind someone trying to reach out again. While some people could genuinely be trying to reflect on their past, some are just bored and trying to get some drama back in their lives.
But why is it that particularly exes have been tempted to reach out?
Well, these moments of vulnerability can make you want to connect with people that make you feel comfortable and familiar. Feeling dull and lonely can make you search for things that make you feel better about yourself. So when your ex tries to reach out to you, it’s because they want to feel validated that you still somehow fancy them, if at all you get in a conversation with them.
How should you respond to an ex that reaches out to you?
Before you do anything, you need to ask yourself three questions: Do you feel the same? Has this happened before? Does it feel genuine?
If you don’t feel the same, remember that you are the one who has the power to control the conversation and if it should continue or not. It’s okay to not reply because that’s a reply in itself too. Don’t forget that the block button exists for a reason.
If you do reply, know that being polite will just run you through the risk of having to talk to your ex even if you wouldn’t want to. But if you don’t want to ghost them, you need to explain to them that you don’t want to be in touch with them all over again and leave the conversation there.
If this situation has happened before, you need to learn from it. If you know the second you reciprocate your interest in your ex, they will disappear, save yourself the trouble of a response.
If it actually makes you feel genuine, and if you’re both on the same page, take it slow. Remember that you are going to need to re-build your relationship from scratch. So don’t end up over-committing yourself emotionally when you don’t have the chance to meet in person at this moment.
But if you’re unsure about whether to respond to your ex or not, just wait it out until the time you can see them face-to-face and see if it still feels the same. That way you can judge your emotions better.
read the full story about Your ex making an appearance during lockdown?
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